No one else had asked for file. So, we got it. Questions and doubts filled our minds.

She was almost 5 then, with potential mobility issues. She has repaired spina bifida and also some issues with her left foot.  When we saw some outdated videos of her, we were concerned. Can she handle the stairs in our house? What about her mental development, etc? We entered into a season of prayer and research. We sent off a list of questions and requests for video footage to the orphanage, and gave God a prayerful list of what we needed him to do. That sounds awful, but I needed to be reassured that God was calling us into this decision, not just a cute picture or the potential guilt of turning away her file. We asked God to provide a financial gift that could serve as a sign of gifts to come- we need him to provide for the expenses. We also asked for encouragement and more information, about her specifically and about spina bifida in general (our oldest has hydrocephalus so we aren’t clueless, but it’s still a new condition for our family). 
 
God already had all his answers planned out. That Sunday we ‘ran into’ some old friends who had adopted a child with spina bifida a few years ago. I had totally forgotten. Chatting with them was such a great encouragement and also very informative. The next day we received notice of a special donation. So God had done 2 out of 3 things we had asked. Then on Tuesday I got an email from our adoption agency with answers from the orphanage. (I also heard later that her orphanage isn’t known for quick or even thorough responses, so we are truly grateful for the Lord’s hand in that situation.)
 
They also sent video footage of her walking and playing and climbing up and down stairs. When I saw her in the video, I wept. She was being asked to walk and climb, the very things that have surely been a challenge to her. (Even a source of mocking, perhaps?)  Did she feel like she had to perform for us in order to win our approval? She was so cooperative and quiet in the videos that I think she trusts the woman who filmed her.  But how long will it take her to trust us?
 
God had answered so clearly that we couldn’t refuse. After seeing her in the videos, Chris and I both knew that she’s our daughter. 
 
We have updated our home study (finally, yay!) and now we are waiting on fingerprinting for the USCIS part of the process. Since our dossier paperwork is already translated and approved in China, we are hoping and praying we’ll be able to travel in May or June.
 
[Because we aren’t supposed to post photos before we have official approval, this post is sort of incomplete without her picture. But I think it’s ok to give you a glimpse. This is the bottom quarter of Eliza Joy’s face. I hope she likes actual dogs, not just toy ones. We are looking forward to making her smile!]  

My thoughts have been difficult to corral lately.  I’ve been wanting to write a post about our family’s current adoption, but I’m so scatterbrained!  I’m busy with our kids and home and, frankly, I don’t take time to think very often.  I have never liked being reflective or introspective. Chris does enough of that for both of us.  Part of the reason I avoid being reflective is that lately I get very emotional, especially if I’m thinking about family and adoption in particular.  Perhaps it’s because my heart has been stretched and changed through our adoptions of our 2 girls. 
 
I had a great conversation with my little sister about this issue a few weeks ago when she came to visit. She and her husband and 3 sons welcomed a Chinese princess into their family this summer. It was the kind of conversation where you complete each others sentences because you think exactly the same way, and need to draw the words to a quick conclusion because the thoughts and implications are so deep you might get stuck.  We were discussing the fact that we both feel like such light weights in the adoption world. 

​Amidst the stories of families who sacrificially welcome in children with profound medical and developmental issues, our adopted children are far easier to care for.  But, even though our adoptions are ‘easier,’ we don’t think these other families are more spiritual or on the other hand crazier.  We just know, that like us, their hearts have been stretched by adoption.  “Like the Grinch who Stole Christmas!,” we exclaimed at the same time.  Our hearts have been stretched and challenged like never before.  Mothering and loving biological children was (and is) a profound experience, but loving our adopted children has taught me a new depth of God’s love for me. It’s stretched my love to grow into these girls’ hearts who’ve been entrusted to us. We chose them even though they had no choice.  They’ve come to us through repeated loss and trauma, and we’re privileged with the responsibility of helping them through those layers of loss.  My heart feels much deeper compassion after adopting than I ever did before.  Adoption has changed me.
 
All this change and stretching makes our current state not a huge shock to me.  We are adopting again! 
 
We thought we might be adopting 2 when we adopted Lydia, and were wisely advised to take it one at a time for attachment purposes. During Lydia’s long adjustment to sleep, we totally shelved the conversation.  After she settled in and made progress in communication and sleep over the summer, our family fell into a comfortable routine.  That’s when I saw the picture.  A sweet (and very cheeky) little girl who was being advocated by our adoption agency.  With Lydia’s adoption, we would be able to reuse the bulk of the paperwork to adopt another child requested within 12 months.  God had given us a smooth week of healthy kids, little homework, and even a date (which is when I showed Chris her picture.)  “Why not?” was his response.  Just ask for her file but I bet other people will be asking, too.
 
More details about what happened next when we post again tomorrow. . .

Chris loves new year's resolutions (he has 24 of them for 2016); Monica hates them (why bother? will anything actually change). But both of us resolved to return to our blog, which we enjoyed in December 2014/January 2015. We hope to blog once or twice a week: on adoption, travel, books/culture, or theology. So, here we go for 2016. We begin with an update on Lydia, whom we adopted on December 23, 2014, from Guizhou, China.

Lydia has lived up the the nickname of "Spicy Peanut." A few months ago one of her brothers, who shall remain nameless, threatened to take back a stuffed animal that he had given (loaned?) to her. Her little legs raced into the room and she promptly punched him in the crotch. Keeled over in pain and anger, everything in him wanted to retaliate. But he dared not punch his cute, three-year-old sister. He resisted, that time.

To say Lydia has fully acclimated to our family is a generous understatement. It seems like she owns our family, at least in her own mind. She certainly owns our hearts. Each day is quite the adventure with our "Spicy Peanut."

Throughout each day, we are unsure which version of Lydia we will get: the happy, sweet version or the grumpy, "don't you dare touch me" version.  Both versions show that our daughter feels safe and secure in our family. We try to rejoice (and often laugh) during her tantrums, knowing that she is a three-year-old with a strong personality.  Her speech has improved and her frustration at not being understood has diminished. We still chuckle that her c and k sounds are pronounced as a t. She loves her stuffed "titty tat".  

Lydia loves to play outside, especially riding her micro scooter. Her balance astounds us as she leans into her turns and screeches to a halt before reaching the end of our driveway.  I foresee a birthday in the not-so distant future when she requests a skateboard or stunt bike.  

She also loves her ABCD's (I mean, we can't leave D out, can we?).  She always has the need to practice singing the ABC song while at the grocery store.  "I do it myself!" she yells after I've joined her once. She does ABCD twice, then skips to QRSTUV,  and finishes with a double grand finale of WXYZ. Such fun to watch her learn.

​Some family adoption news is coming. . . so stay posted to our blog.