I had a great conversation with my little sister about this issue a few weeks ago when she came to visit. She and her husband and 3 sons welcomed a Chinese princess into their family this summer. It was the kind of conversation where you complete each others sentences because you think exactly the same way, and need to draw the words to a quick conclusion because the thoughts and implications are so deep you might get stuck. We were discussing the fact that we both feel like such light weights in the adoption world.
Amidst the stories of families who sacrificially welcome in children with profound medical and developmental issues, our adopted children are far easier to care for. But, even though our adoptions are ‘easier,’ we don’t think these other families are more spiritual or on the other hand crazier. We just know, that like us, their hearts have been stretched by adoption. “Like the Grinch who Stole Christmas!,” we exclaimed at the same time. Our hearts have been stretched and challenged like never before. Mothering and loving biological children was (and is) a profound experience, but loving our adopted children has taught me a new depth of God’s love for me. It’s stretched my love to grow into these girls’ hearts who’ve been entrusted to us. We chose them even though they had no choice. They’ve come to us through repeated loss and trauma, and we’re privileged with the responsibility of helping them through those layers of loss. My heart feels much deeper compassion after adopting than I ever did before. Adoption has changed me.
All this change and stretching makes our current state not a huge shock to me. We are adopting again!
We thought we might be adopting 2 when we adopted Lydia, and were wisely advised to take it one at a time for attachment purposes. During Lydia’s long adjustment to sleep, we totally shelved the conversation. After she settled in and made progress in communication and sleep over the summer, our family fell into a comfortable routine. That’s when I saw the picture. A sweet (and very cheeky) little girl who was being advocated by our adoption agency. With Lydia’s adoption, we would be able to reuse the bulk of the paperwork to adopt another child requested within 12 months. God had given us a smooth week of healthy kids, little homework, and even a date (which is when I showed Chris her picture.) “Why not?” was his response. Just ask for her file but I bet other people will be asking, too.
More details about what happened next when we post again tomorrow. . .