​When we adopted Lydia in December 2014, one of our favorite trips was to the Chimelong Safari Park. We hoped to return with Eliza and the boys. But Typhoon Nida had other plans. The safari park was closed yesterday and thunderstorms were in the forecast for today. Instead, we  opted for the closer and much cheaper Guangzhou Zoo. It was raining lightly during our whole visit which also meant a light crowd.
 
The safari park had 20+ giant pandas, the zoo had 2. The safari park had some crazy shows, the zoo didn’t. But the Guangzhou Zoo did have something we didn’t do at Chimelong Safari Park: feeding the giraffes.
 
For 20 yuan ($3), we got several branches filled with acacia leaves. The giraffes long, purple tongues grazed our hands as we fed them the branches. Eliza’s grin and laughter was matched only by Chris’ as he held her. Feeding the giraffes was worth our trip to the zoo. We’ve never been so close to so many of these strange, beautiful animals.
 
We also saw giant pandas laying on each other, a lion roaring at his neighboring jaguar, baby monkeys leaping around their enclosure while their moms chased them, and hippos chilling out in a shallow pool.
 
We now have Eliza’s US visa in her Chinese passport. Tomorrow we head from Guangzhou to Shanghai to Chicago. We will be back in Houston late tomorrow evening. We are tired of living out of suitcases in hotels and can’t wait to see the rest of our kids and to be home.

As Typhoon Nida bore down on Hong Kong (74 miles away), stores shut down across Guangzhou. Thankfully, though, the US Consulate remained open. Much of the consulate staff remained home as the rain and wind lashed the city.
 
We joined other wet American families as we officially applied for a US Visa for our new children. (Eliza has a Chinese passport now but will become a US Citizen when we land in the States on Thursday.) The two-hour wait felt like an adoption party. Kids played, parents talked, everyone waited.

We chatted with parents who had adopted two daughters with spina bifida. Others were adopting little boys who had mild growth delays. We sought advice and gave advice. Some families are anticipating traveling to many states for medical referrals and procedures. They were young and old. Couples and singles. Some brought other kids with them to China, but many more were left behind. One little girl was now the 7th child in her family (I, Monica thought, “Wow, that’s a lot!” until I remembered that Eliza makes 6.) 
 
Hearing all the stories was encouraging to us, but the noise was a lot for Eliza to handle. Not sure what flipped her switch (I think it was a bunch of kids being rowdy like maybe her orphanage), but she was snuggly and weepy for a while during our long wait.
 
On our way home our bus driver dropped us off at a dim-sum restaurant near our hotel (so we wouldn’t get soaked a third time).  It was probably our favorite (and largest) Chinese meal yet, enjoyed with new friends.

[It was rainy all day today; these sunny pictures are at our hotel play area two days ago.]

​This afternoon, our travel group made our pilgrimage to Shamian Island.  Historically, it’s a place known for being the gateway into China during the 1800’s as a French and British concession, but to adoptive families, it has a different distinction.
 
When China opened its doors for international adoption, Shamian Island was where much of the process happened for American families.  The US consulate and the medical exam office used to be located there (We went there during Anna’s adoption in 2008.) Many families stayed at the White Swan Hotel – the first 5-star hotel in China. They ate at Lucy’s Diner (we still haven’t eaten there, but we usually avoid American food if we aren’t in America- almost always a disappointment.) They shopped for girls’ dresses and other souvenirs on the island also.
 
Four years ago the White Swan closed for major renovations; 2 years ago the consulate and medical exam office both moved driving much of the shop owners back to the main part of Guangzhou to find customers.
 
It’s still a beautiful place set apart from China, though, even if only separated by several short bridges. The banyan trees loom high above with vines trailing into the pedestrian lanes.
 
Eliza posed for the obligatory picture with the children statue. She insisted on pushing her own (empty) stroller before succumbing to the heat and the comfort of said stroller. After some ice cream, we looked at the Pearl River and the typhoon looming in the distance. We ate a yummy dinner our guide arranged for us, and walked through light rain to our bus.
 
Earlier in the day we (minus Monica and Eliza) swam in our hotel’s pool. Surrounded by American families with Chinese children, we felt part of a unique tribe. Wonderful people with biological and adopted children of various ages, called to adopt in China for some reason. They were, and we are, part of the legacy of Shamian Island. The legacy of adoption in China.

​Our Guangzhou weekend began with breakfast at the China Marriot Hotel. The incredible meal combines the best of Western and Eastern breakfast. Not only is the food great but it is amazing to watch and meet other adoptive families.
 
Families from all over the world—even from Chris’ mom’s hometown of Hamilton, MI—have precious Chinese children in their arms. Some are adopting for the first time but many have adopted before.  These families are heroes to us. They amaze us. It is a joy to meet them and hear their stories over omelets, dim sum, pastries, and noodles.
 
Saturday’s breakfast was followed by Eliza’s medical exam. Kind Chinese doctors and nurses perform a series of medical tests to allow the adopted child to get a US Visa. Eliza had her eyes/ears checked, a general physical, and, worst of all, a blood draw. She did well and was glad to be rewarded with a lollipop.
 
We decided to spend Sunday resting at our hotel. Oh, we tried swimming too. The size of the pool scared Eliza and being in it terrified her. She especially disliked getting water on her face. But then she realized that she was safe and that splashing her brothers was fun. Frowns turned to smiles and screams of fear to peals of laughter. She even ventured in mom’s arms—not dad’s, because he might get her face wet again—into the pool.
 
After relaxing at the hotel, we went to dinner with another family from our adoption agency. We loved hearing their stories and watching our kids try some new foods, using chopsticks of course. Eliza refused to sit in her stroller and insisted on pushing it instead. She’s a tough one.
 
We ended the day like we do many days here: Uno with our new friend Danny and his new daughter Daniela.

​In our conversations this week with Eliza, we tried to prepare her for our flight down to Guangzhou. We pointed out airplanes in the sky and played games with airplanes. She seemed genuinely excited, but we were fearful that she wouldn’t actually enjoy the real thing. 
 
We shouldn’t have worried.
 
She moved quickly to the railing near the window to watch the airplanes. “Look! So many airplanes! 1,2,3,4! So many! Look at that one taking off!”  Understanding much of what she says is a true privilege. Not that we can understand it all.
 
In fact, she has started babbling nonsense mixed with real words which makes her quite unintelligible at times.  I guess she is just imitating what we sound like to her.
 
She admitted a bit of nervousness as we were taking off, but she was glued to the window to watch. The views were surprisingly beautiful above the smog. We saw mountains, clouds, rivers, lakes, and a smoldering orange sunset. As soon as the sun had set, she closed the window with the verdict- “Can’t see anything. I’m closing it.”  Using her words all day without a tantrum made for a peaceful day despite the long, late travels.  Even in the hotel lobby at 11:30 PM, she was making happy circles around the couches.
 
We know there will challenging times ahead, but yesterday was a sign that the tantrums of the day before won’t necessarily come every day.

​The Silk Road began in Xi’an in the first century BC. Muslim traders moved here in the eighth century, when the city had one million inhabitants and was one of the largest cities in the world. They brought Islam with them. Today the Muslim Quarter is a tourist mecca for both local and international visitors. We had a great morning shopping there, finding fun gifts for the siblings and even a few things for us.
 
An hour in Eliza decided to test our limits. She erupted into a baby shriek when Monica didn’t give her something she wanted. We were in a peasant painting store when the tirade began. We didn’t back down. And she didn’t either. We kept telling her in Chinese: in our family we talk, we don’t shriek.  Eventually she calmed down. But were the boundaries learned?
 
Later in the day, Chris asked her to come after she had been unkind to her brother. She responded, “Bu!”(no!). Three times. The battle of wills resumed. We took away her lollipop and the iPad, where she was playing her favorite app, MyPlay Home. The shrieking began. (This sound drives us all a bit crazy. We think this high-pitched shrill was how she and the other kids communicated and got attention in the orphanage.) Calmly talking to her and holding her was all we could do. After 15 minutes of stubbornly refusing to ask dad politely for her lollipop and game, she relented. Sort of. She mouthed a barely audible apology. But it was close enough.
 
Another tantrum came an hour later over her refusal to use the toilet. Instead she stood in the bathroom and peed in her pull-up.
 
Yes, we know what we signed up for. No one said this was going to be easy. We hope and pray that over time she sees the beauty of boundaries. We already saw the benefits of some of our stances today- at bedtime she calmly asked to play on the iPad with a smile. Of course you can! We put all of her characters in her favorite game to sleep. She gave them baths and even brushed their teeth (both activities she has little experience with and barely tolerates.)
 
She is starting to learn the routine and the rules- hopefully experiencing the freedom and security that comes from living within them soon.

​When we adopted Lydia in December 2014, she spent much of the first two days mourning the loss of her foster mom. She cried frequently and deeply. Laughs came slowly and sporadically. Lydia mourned in Lydia’s way.
 
Eliza came to us smiling. She’s been quick to laugh and loves being tickled by dad. Her tears have come slowly and sporadically. Like today on our drive to and from the Terracotta Warriors.
 
She sat next to Chris quiet and absorbed in thought. Then the tears came. Same thing happened on our drive back to our hotel. She looks at us tentatively, wondering if it’s okay to cry. Yes, sweetheart, you need to mourn.
 
We had lunch at McDonalds. Monica was excited about a double-cheeseburger and Chris looked forward to a Big Mac. We thought Eliza would enjoy nuggets and fries as much as Lydia had 18 months ago. She didn’t.  She tried a french fry then burst into quiet, big tears.
 
Tonight we walked (and the boys biked) around Xi’an’s remarkable city wall. Afterwards, as Monica bathed Eliza she burst into tears again. Not long, inconsolable crying but deep, confused tears. She’s very happy but she’s also sad and confused by all the changes. Her whole life used to consist of a classroom, a bedroom, and a small playground. Her world has exploded in a remarkable way. She knows it’s ok to cry, and the tears had stopped by the time Monica tucked her in. She even had a few giggles while reading a book with animal noises at bedtime, but more tears will come.
 
Eliza needs to mourn in Eliza’s way. Just as each of the Terracotta Warriors faces are unique, grief takes different faces.

Today finds us incredibly grateful. We are thankful for all the women who took care of Eliza during her five years in an orphanage.
 
After getting our Letter of Approval (LoA) in May, we contacted Ann at http://redthreadchina.com/. Through Red Thread we ordered a package to send to Eliza in her orphanage. We went a bit overboard—with help from grandparents—and sent a big package. Cake for a party. A Dress. A letter we wrote in English (and Ann translated into Chinese). Fruit. Candy. Oh, and most importantly, a photo album with subtitles in Chinese.

We were not sure if Eliza got the package or what she thought. When we finally got pictures, we were thrilled to see a big smile on her face as she wore her new dress, held her new teddy bear, and fed cake to her friends. She liked the dress so much that the orphanage workers took some of the fruit money and bought her another dress she picked out (which we hope she can wear to our consulate appointment in Guangzhou next week).
 
We were relieved that she got the package but wondered what she thought of the pictures.
 
On Gotcha Day we got a flash drive that we had sent to her orphanage with the Red Thread package. We downloaded the pictures yesterday. To our surprise, there were 162 pictures. We got to see what her orphanage looked like and pictures over several years. Perhaps the most precious pictures were those of her looking at our family photo album with her friends and nannies, and coloring in a picture of our family that Anna had drawn.
 
All these pictures fill us with gratitude for a group of hidden heroes in the adoption story.
 
The orphanage workers and foster parents.
 
They love the orphans in their care. They feed them, change their diapers, help them recover from surgery, clean up after them, and do their best to provide help when they can, even without training. We were told that the orphanage workers used to rub Eliza’s legs every day. They loved her well and gave her the attention they thought she needed.
 
We hope in the future to update them with news (thanks WeChat!) of how help in the US improves Eliza’s mobility and health in general.
 
Orphanage workers and foster parents love the kids in their care. These kids hopefully get adopted into their forever families and, usually, never get to see their aiyis (aunties) again. They are indeed hidden heroes.

​We pressed our fingers in blue ink and onto some official Chinese documents. Eliza followed us with her whole hand. Then it became official. She’s ours.
 
In China adoptions are finalized 24 hours after Gotcha Day. In rare instances, some families decide to not go through with the adoption after meeting the child. No such thoughts ran through our heads. Being with her for the past day has made us appreciate and mourn for the amount of help she will need. As soon as we get back to Texas we will see spina bifida specialists, orthopedic doctors, dentists, and all kinds of therapists. The next year will probably be filled with surgeries and therapy. We can’t wait to get her to Houston to see what the doctors there can do for her. Yes, we realize the cost and pain involved. But, no, we had no second thoughts.
 
We gladly blued our thumbs and smacked them on those Chinese papers to finalize making Eliza a Sneller.
 
The adoption finalized, we had the rest of the day to hang out around our hotel. She laughed a lot throughout the day, especially when Chris tickled her, wrestled with her or made funny faces. She cried a little bit, after seeing pictures of some of her orphanage friends and experiencing a bit too much tickling. Over and over, we are telling her that it’s okay to be sad. In our family, you can cry.
 
We were thrilled at Pizza Hut when she declined a second piece of pizza. She has been clearing mounds of food off her plate at every meal, so it was great to see her draw some healthy boundaries for herself. She loved making Daddy “mad” by calling him Mommy in the long van ride today; he returned the insults with lots of tickles.  Her voice is usually very soft, and tonight she only nodded when Monica asked her if she liked her new family. Her nod was enough.

We have Eliza!

We walked into Shaanxi adoption office twenty-minutes late (we waited impatiently for our van driver at our hotel)  and there she was. Smiling she walked into Monica's arms. A tear streaked her face from earlier but she put on a brave happy face. She is sweet, shy, and smiling as much as she can.

After many pictures and a few signatures, we got a stroller and headed back to our hotel. On the drive she erupted in a  belly laugh when Chris pretended he was drinking the bottle of her new baby doll (that she loves). We all enjoyed playing with her back in the hotel room. We even got to have dinner with a friend from her orphanage. By the end of dinner, though, she was tired and done smiling.

Locked behind the smiles and occasional laugh there seems to be deep sadness, genuine curiosity, and sincere sweetness. We pray she feels free to cry and mourn. And to be honest with herself and us, about her fears and opinions. Monica let her choose whether to take a bath or not tonight and she chose not to. Hopefully tomorrow she will be more curious once our nerves are calmer.  She has loved peeking into her suitcase to find more treasures, and she has followed her brothers around just to see what they're doing. 

I (Monica) got teary tonight as Chris and I sang to her. We've been praying for her and thinking about her for 10 months, but her world has been turned upside down. It encouraged us that she had the toys we sent her earlier and our album, but knowing you have a family coming and the upheaval of actually being adopted are very different. We pray that she knows we don't expect perfection. We pray that she already senses that she is loved.  She is so loved.