The Silk Road began in Xi’an in the first century BC. Muslim traders moved here in the eighth century, when the city had one million inhabitants and was one of the largest cities in the world. They brought Islam with them. Today the Muslim Quarter is a tourist mecca for both local and international visitors. We had a great morning shopping there, finding fun gifts for the siblings and even a few things for us.
An hour in Eliza decided to test our limits. She erupted into a baby shriek when Monica didn’t give her something she wanted. We were in a peasant painting store when the tirade began. We didn’t back down. And she didn’t either. We kept telling her in Chinese: in our family we talk, we don’t shriek. Eventually she calmed down. But were the boundaries learned?
Later in the day, Chris asked her to come after she had been unkind to her brother. She responded, “Bu!”(no!). Three times. The battle of wills resumed. We took away her lollipop and the iPad, where she was playing her favorite app, MyPlay Home. The shrieking began. (This sound drives us all a bit crazy. We think this high-pitched shrill was how she and the other kids communicated and got attention in the orphanage.) Calmly talking to her and holding her was all we could do. After 15 minutes of stubbornly refusing to ask dad politely for her lollipop and game, she relented. Sort of. She mouthed a barely audible apology. But it was close enough.
Another tantrum came an hour later over her refusal to use the toilet. Instead she stood in the bathroom and peed in her pull-up.
Yes, we know what we signed up for. No one said this was going to be easy. We hope and pray that over time she sees the beauty of boundaries. We already saw the benefits of some of our stances today- at bedtime she calmly asked to play on the iPad with a smile. Of course you can! We put all of her characters in her favorite game to sleep. She gave them baths and even brushed their teeth (both activities she has little experience with and barely tolerates.)
She is starting to learn the routine and the rules- hopefully experiencing the freedom and security that comes from living within them soon.
An hour in Eliza decided to test our limits. She erupted into a baby shriek when Monica didn’t give her something she wanted. We were in a peasant painting store when the tirade began. We didn’t back down. And she didn’t either. We kept telling her in Chinese: in our family we talk, we don’t shriek. Eventually she calmed down. But were the boundaries learned?
Later in the day, Chris asked her to come after she had been unkind to her brother. She responded, “Bu!”(no!). Three times. The battle of wills resumed. We took away her lollipop and the iPad, where she was playing her favorite app, MyPlay Home. The shrieking began. (This sound drives us all a bit crazy. We think this high-pitched shrill was how she and the other kids communicated and got attention in the orphanage.) Calmly talking to her and holding her was all we could do. After 15 minutes of stubbornly refusing to ask dad politely for her lollipop and game, she relented. Sort of. She mouthed a barely audible apology. But it was close enough.
Another tantrum came an hour later over her refusal to use the toilet. Instead she stood in the bathroom and peed in her pull-up.
Yes, we know what we signed up for. No one said this was going to be easy. We hope and pray that over time she sees the beauty of boundaries. We already saw the benefits of some of our stances today- at bedtime she calmly asked to play on the iPad with a smile. Of course you can! We put all of her characters in her favorite game to sleep. She gave them baths and even brushed their teeth (both activities she has little experience with and barely tolerates.)
She is starting to learn the routine and the rules- hopefully experiencing the freedom and security that comes from living within them soon.
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